There’s been a lot of family blog work this week. Namely, Lia has a new blog and after seeing what it looks like, Jarrod decided that he wanted a new look to his site. Now I have no excuse not to finally spend some time making mine look a bit more like something that I’d make, rather than the default that comes with WordPress. For those of you keeping score, WordPress is the blogging software that does the heavy lifting to run our blogs.
Anyway, I’m going to be tinkering with a lot of stuff on my site so don’t be
alarmed surprised if things get a bit strange for awhile. Links are likely to disappear. Navigation systems will phase in and out of existence. The redesign may induce nausea and/or make you see spots. Stay Alert. Trust No One. Keep Your Laser Handy.
What about the battle robots promised in the title of this post? Here’s how things would be if my in-laws were battle robots.
Linda is a Large Robot that emits Clouds of Smoke, is fitted with Armour Plating, has Three Metal Wheels, runs on Solar Power, can Jump Small Distances, and is Very Slow
Wilf is a Robot that occasionally Explodes, is fitted with a Lump Hammer, has Two Bicycle Wheels, and runs on a Car Battery
Wesley is a Robot that walks on Three Spindly Legs, has Slogans Painted on the Side, runs on Methane, jams Radio Transmissions, and Spins Around Randomly
Amy is a Robot that walks on Four Spindly Legs, is Powered by Cold Fusion, is fitted with a Bladed Claw, and is covered with Silver Piping
April is a Robot that makes Toast, has One Enormous Wheel and Infravision, and runs on Petrol
Mmmmmm. Toast. But I wonder whose gene pool the spindly legs come from.
You’ll have to visit the battle robots site to find out who wins though. Interestingly, Jarrod kicks my and Lia’s butts, but together Lia and I have equal force, poorer handling, and superior weaponry. I’d say that’s a pretty accurate assessment.
For further diversions, you can try the Food Eating Battle Monkeys where you’ll find that I’m a wimpy Tofu-Eating Skeleton Monkey and someone named Don is a Gravel-Eating Disco Monkey. Beyond letting you know that the descriptions of my sisters-in-law as Giant Battle Monsters are strangely appropriate, you’re on your own.
And the outcome of love vs. lust, theory vs. practice, good vs. evil, subject vs. object, and nature vs. nurture are exercises in battle robot warfare left to the reader.
The robot descriptions are hilarious. But you forgot Amy’s two robot companions, the quivering water jug (Beau) and the ever so fiesty and hyper gumball machine (Gabby).