Fashion math: Richard Simmons + Yelvis

Who would have thought that clothing and math could be so easy and work together so well? Today’s fashion equation is RS + Y = GT. In plain English: Richard Simmons + Yelvis = one of the local Gym Teachers.

Today, the Original Mr. Lucky is looking quite dapper in a white windbreaker with blue-pink-and-purple-on-a-black-background shoulder highlights. Digitally generated pattern, of course. The navy track pants with the thick white stripe sandwiched between red piping down the outside of the leg give us a mere suggestion of classic 80s law enforcement. Completing the ensemble are white sports socks and high-tech two-tone grey plastic sandals.

Our model wears his hair as if Blue Suede Shoes was still at the top of the charts and his synthetic tan would make any Tokyo kogal proud. The windbreaker attracts our attention while simultaneously hiding the paunch, but the racing stripes on the pants draw the eye downward in such a way that observers can avert their eyes only after experiencing the full fashion effect.

The dissonance between the individual parts of the ensemble is almost too much to bear. But our model pirouettes to face us and we see that the jacket and pants sport the same logo. The pieces match. All is well.


If the kogal link above didn’t work, try here.
More information on kogal fashion.
What is Yelvis? Warning: not a politically-correct link.
If you don’t know who Richards Simmons is, are you sure you want to? The author of this post in no way endorses the content of the following link, and cannot be held responsible for psychological trauma caused by viewing Simmons’ site.