One of the things we were warned of before we came to Japan was the difference between Asian and western body sizes and shapes. That it would often be difficult to find clothing and shoes that fit. That bus seats would be too small. And so on.

But nobody warned as about one thing…

Yes, there are many short people here and at 5′9″ I’m taller than average. But the one feature that we really notice is how big peoples’ heads are. Not just because their bodies have a finer bone structure. Nor because hips and curves on women are almost nonexistent. There is no avoiding the fact that Japanese peoples’ heads are physically bigger than westerners’ heads.

I’m going to drag Lia into this for comparison. Back in Canada, she often had rotten luck buying hats. Partially due to the vagaries of taste and style, but more so because her head was too big for most hats on the market. She could occasionally squeeze her noggin into a large. More often she’d have success with an extra-large. Luckily, in Saskatchewan stretchy knitwear does not make one a social pariah.

What about Japan? I can say that knitted hats are all the rage. I’ll save the other fashion discoveries for another post, though you can comb through the archives for a post on shoes. In terms of clothes sizing, the smaller adult sizes of pants, skirts, and shirts would fit your average 12-year-old Canadian girl. You can imagine what it does to a person’s self esteem to have to always buy extra-large pants just so they fit over your hips. Snugly. In terms of unmeasured sizes, the Japanese use S-M-L, but instead of XS they use SS for extra-small, and LL for extra-large. So the continuum looks like this: SS-S-M-L-LL. I haven’t seen any SSS or LLL but I haven’t looked that hard.

Of course, who am I to complain about shopping for clothes? It’s always easier for guys. Especially when I have a build similar to everyone else. Except for the cranium, that is.

Which brings us back to hats. Lia and western hats is kind of like a linebacker and a compact car. The former will fit into the latter, but it’s not necessarily comfortable. Or pretty. Even if the linebacker is wearing foundation. As an aside, any micro-socio-geology graduate students would do well to consider “Exploring the Sedimentation of Japanese Facial Decoration and its Relation to Age, Marital Status, and Self-Esteem” as a potential thesis topic. Back to my analogy that’s going upset the marital bliss. Imagine a sumo wrestler and a bus with really big doors. That’s kind of what it’s like with Japanese people’s heads and their hats. Lia buys size S hats here and they’re roomy. Size L would be big enough for two. I kid you not. If you have a big head, get a friend in Japan to send you some hats!

What does this all have to do with the title of this post? Big heads. Small bodies. Reminds me of bobbleheads. What’s a bobblehead? Try here. One day, many months ago when we were deep in culture shock, Lia started singing “We all live in a bobblehead world…” to the tune of Yellow Submarine. If you don’t know about Yellow Submarine, your homework is to research the oeuvre of the band Paul McCartney was in before Wings. So anyway, Lia started singing this little rhyme and we talked about eventually doing the whole song. I did it on my own, because our creative processes when it comes to songwriting are, well, disharmonious would be putting it mildly. In the intervening months between the original idea and the finished lyrical atrocity below, it’s been enough for either of us to simply hum a few bars to send the other into giggles.

And now, without further ado, but with apologies to Lennon, McCartney, and anyone who might take offense:

Bobblehead World
sung to Yellow Submarine by The Beatles

On the way to buy some chips
I thought there was a solar eclipse
But I blinked and rubbed my eyes
And saw a man of extreme hat size

Everyone was slight and small
With giant heads, they’re still not tall
I sometimes wish for stronger meds
In this land of bobbleheads

We all live in a bobblehead world,
Bobblehead world, bobblehead world
We all live in a bobblehead world,
Bobblehead world, bobblehead world

They’re snaggletoothed, with blackened gums
Pencil necks, no hips or bums
And the band begins to play

We all live in a bobblehead world,
Bobblehead world, bobblehead world
We all live in a bobblehead world,
Bobblehead world, bobblehead world

In this realm of sushi rice
Are many shops with spongy breads
And we almost have a life
In the land of bobbleheads

We all live in a bobblehead world,
Bobblehead world, bobblehead world
We all live in a bobblehead world,
Bobblehead world, bobblehead world

We all live in a bobblehead world,
Bobblehead world, bobblehead world
We all live in a bobblehead world,
Bobblehead world, bobblehead world

Lyrics mostly by Ed Pas